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Friday, June 14, 2013

Sorry.

Hi all,

I am not so sure if you all will ever get to read this post. This blog is almost died. Recently, I haven't been feeling the very best in terms of mood and health. I finally managed to voice out what I really feel all this while but maybe all along I have been a very selfish person I never really consider what you all really feel too.

Honestly I have been having really hard time ever since we broke our friendship with Natalie and Liting but it was so much easier because you guys are there. Maybe you all might think why I am so adamant about it seriously I myself also don't understand why I am like that. However, if there is reason why maybe it is just mainly my character. I always have this feeling why I can put in 100% for someone/something but the other person is not appreciating it. Sometimes I hate myself for such thinking and try to tell myself not every time I give 100% I must get back the same and doesn't mean people never give back 100% means you are not important to them. Maybe their way of 100% and your way of 100% is different.

Probably you guys never know, what kind of friends you guys were right? When my parent in the process of divorcing, everyday they will quarrel the only time I forgot about their quarrel is when I in school and is because we always talk nonsense. Even though u all never really once talk to me about it but being able to help me laugh and forget about those irritating issue at home then was a great help. Of course school work also plays a part, everyday just thinking about studying can forgot those problems too. That's why this one year without any goal in my life I feel so lost and get irritated easily. I am a person that will feel lost when I lose my goal (You guys should know by now... hahaha). Have I ever told you all before, I once wrote a letter to my parents when I am in Primary 6 telling them I am going to commit suicide if they keep quarreling and want to divorce? Hahaha.. obviously I didn't do it given that I am still alive now typing this long long post...

Now I am slowly learning to let go a lot of things that I hold on so tightly that is making people around me and myself suffocated. But this process is not a short one. I realized the more I care about someone the more I put in for them the more I feel depressed when I feel they are not appreciating it. Thinking back probably the ones that suffer the most is you guys. Maybe you all have your own way of showing your appreciation but I never realized it before. Especially Ty and Kirstie, you both are more introvert and hardly really voice out whereas sometimes Zemin will show her little appreciation. I know not only Zemin but Ty and Kirstie also appreciate some things that I do but don't say it out. However, honestly, sometimes it is best to let the other party know that you appreciate things they do. Sometimes it just make the other person's day.

At times when we are having some event or some plans I am always the only one that gets excited I will feel that you all are being forced to go because I want to. I feel that way because sometimes I see how excited you all get when you are making plans with your other friends or when it is about some KPOP event, such excitement rarely happens when it is us planning something. But ultimately, it is not the way I think but because I never voice out such thinking to you guys (which means I never give you all a chance to break my such thinking before) and just keep assuming making myself so unhappy. Guess it is my fault too.

Overall, I think we are a bunch of people that never really communicate what we really feel inside. I am not a very complicated person actually (Like a lie right... hahahaha) All I wanted was to feel like I am being appreciated. This time round the one incident that torture me the most is the damn adventure cove. The first time when the three of us (Zemin, Ty and Me) talking about it over dinner, I suddenly feel like the feeling of everyone feeling excited coming back to me like I am not the only one that wish to go for it but when Kirstie say she cannot because of nature reason it was a huge disappointment but cannot be help so try to don't feel so disappointed. The second time it was me and I felt so bad towards you all but I also felt upset because you guys seems to be alright and like it was an insignificant thing and it doesn't matter if we didn't go. Like I was the one that really wanted to go for it. (Although now I think it is not true maybe you all just don't want me to feel bad I am sure you all also disappointed.) The third time it was again because of nature reason (thou it was Zemin) and I was again disappointed. I guess this adventure cove event I didn't handle my disappointment well. I know it is no one's fault but I keep feel super moody about it. I know it cannot be helped but I keep feeling irritated about the fact it keeps getting postponed. At that time I keep thinking why am I like that. Why am i so damn shelfish making everyone miserable.

Probably I feel really moody also because I haven't been feeling very well since Kirstie Birthday. Kirstie birthday dinner that night I didn't want to eat fast-food and even when everyone go to Popeye I also never eat. You all must be feeling very angry right but what I never say is that night I was feeling very sick (No idea why but maybe because too hungry and then gastric acted up). I did tell kirstie after that when we talk. While you all were eating I went to the toilet to vomit, not a lot and mainly liquid. That's why I say I don't want eat fast food at least if it was pizza hut I can drink some hot soup. But like what Kirstie said I should have told you guys but also because I don't want you guys to change place again just because of me, I know everyone is super hungry then. Since then I have been feeling unwell on and off. All kinds like LS, Heart Pain, Shoulder Pain, Headache. Now I am feeling much better thou because I have been seeing doctor and have been on medication.

Because my body have been feeling so tense, I looked forward to every outing that we planned thinking it might help in relive the tension my body and lift up my moody mood a bit but every time it gets cancelled, it just make my mood go worse and making me feel even more frustrated and unwell.

Anyway whatever it is. I am sorry if during this period I have been making you all feel bad. I am sorry that I have been "suffocating" you all. Thanks for being so understanding. There is still a long road for our friendship lets try and be more open and learn to communicate more openly. Let's all forget all the pain we inflict on each other. From today on-wards let's began a new chapter of this Special Friendship.

Sorry the post a bit too long... hahahaha. See you all soon! Love you guys! <3 nbsp="" p="">

Sunday, November 25, 2012

its the awesomely SMTOWNSG 2012!

hey yoz da jia,

its been awhile i blog uhhh, HAHAS. blogging memorable memories that cant be left behind yah.

this 2012 has been so fulfilling and great! SS4 in feb n now SMTOWN in nov. there'll be more coming up!! :D:D:

this time around ah yee wasnt able to go with me to SMTOWNSG cause of lao char bor luh. . . anyway SS5 NO ONE'S GONNA STOP HER!!

on 22nd Nov, went to airport to wait for them, because i believe that they will walk out from normal exit, but after a few hours of waiting n saw people tweeting that they have already reached n left the CIP area, its time to go luh . . the problem lies with the singapore security i guess. hmmm, ren ming luh! afterwhich waiting for ah yee to end work n we headed to Marina Floating Platform to try our luck to see if we can see them rehearsal.

Indeed, we saw FX, SNSD n EXO rehearsal. though is only rehearsal, everyone was super high!!. . i think we saq donghae walk out of the van:):) went to Marina Square for dinner n headed home. Getting ready for the next day's tight schedule:)

23rd NOV 2012~
today it's e day every kpop fan has been waiting for! woke up at 5.30am n reach MFP at abt 8am. started queuing for mechandize. counted as early bah. mosh pit queue was in a mess n everyone was running around..

while queuing managed to hear SHINee n Super Junior's rehearsal, but cant see their face. oh yeah finally bought those mechandize. the rain starting to come at about 4pm... was super duper heavy n there's lighning too... so worried that they might cancel e event. everything went alright and CONCERT START!

no bag check, enterance queue was not in proper. very very chaotic.

lightstick all ready n screams!!

Concert coming to an end in about half an hour time, when BOA is singing ONLY ONE. Down came the heavy rain n horrifying thunderstorm. everyone all drenched but still continue with e concert. afterwhich, F(x), SHINee, SNSD, Super Junior n TVXQ all dancing n singing in the rain. the weridess thing is whn ending, all e SM artiste came out to sing HOPE. the rain just stopped. not even a drop of water.

this is not the end yet. when reached germaine house, germaine slept but ah yee waiting anxiously for me to be back. share stoies with her n slept less than 4h. next morning, mac breakfast with ah yee, nt sure of SJ flight, but we went just to try our luck. in e end still cant see them :(

it was a cool and great concert, thanks to RITS but still can be better. More organised, improve translator's translation, booked a more appropriate venue (for eg, Indoor will be e best venue), lastly, please let the artiste come out of the normal exit like they always do in other countries. its alittle unfair because other countries' SMTOWN, artiste can come out of normal exit to greet the fans. appreciate it. LOOKING FORWARD TO SS5 in the near future! :):)

Reported by:

Kirstie Foong (E.L.F)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The SIMS

DongHae Teaching MinHyuk how to talk...
(Good Uncle!)

Going Home with SeoYang...
(Kirstie Dai - Lou's Younger Daughter)

Finally SeoYoung is a toddler

Chatting with Tong Yee Dai - Lou..
(Not planned by me... saw the sims using com,
rollover then realise chatting with Tong Yee Dai - Lou)

This is planned by me!
(Tried my luck and see who is online and BOOM Kirstie Dai - Lou is online,
so Zemin Dai - Lou is chatting with her... =D)

SeoYoung is Hungry

MinEn love to play

MinEn missing her Mommy
(Germaine Dai - Lou's Daughter)

See Tong Yee Dai - Lou forever using computer
(On the right is a sketch of Zemin Dai - Lou... not bad leh. Talented!)

See who visited House A
(Zemin Dai - Lou spending quality time with MinHyuk)

Tong Yee Dai - Lou also came over and visit House A
(BUT SEE WHAT SHE DOING.. USING COMPUTER!!)

MinHyuk is a Toddler... (HE is really sleepy..)

Welcome to the world... MinEn

Uncle DongHae Snuggling MinEn.. So Sweet ~

Quality time with MinEm

Zemin Dai - Lou Sketching all the way again...

The photos above are not in order.. so just read the caption and laugh bah.. Keep changing active household so tired.. hahahaha. Ending the game today. Shall continue the story when I play SIMS again the next time (Maybe 2moro, Maybe few months later... It all depends..)

Latest Update in writing;

Kirstie Dai - Lou & Lee DongHae

They both are currently blessed with two daughters, SeoYoung Lee and SeoYang Lee. SeoYoung recently celebrated her birthday and is now a child.. almost ready for her first day of school. Kirstie is enjoying her tai tai life (really very tai tai, don't even have to look after SeoYang cause the babysitter will come everyday and at House A, there is a butler and a maid that comes everyday..)

DongHae is working very hard towards being a singer / actor.. he recently got promoted and got some celebrity stars (means gain some recognition is the town) Ps: His stage name is also DongHae

Germaine Dai - Lou & Choi MinHo

They both are currently blessed with a son and a daughter, MinHyuk Choi and MinEn Choi. MinHyuk recently also celebrated his birthday (Had a combine party with SeoYoung at House A)... also almost ready for his first day of school. Germaine also enjoying her tai tai life like Kirstie. (Both tai tai together...)

MinHo recently got promoted to manager in the mega company that he is working for.. he was also scouted to join the politics industry but he chose to stay in the mega company and work towards his dream..

Tong Yee Dai - Lou & Lee Hyuk Jae

They both don't have any kids as they both dislike children. Tong Yee is working very hard towards the goal of being a celebrity chef, everyday working very late. (lots of overtime). Hyuk Jae is working hard towards being a superstar singer / actor. He is also working together with his Brother DongHae. Ps: His Stage name is EunHyuk

Zemin Dai - Lou

She is all alone, but staying with Tong Yee Dai - Lou and Lee Hyuk Jae. She recently got promoted to senior architecture but is not very busy yet because she have not been doing many drawings to improve her portfolio. (don know what is she doing everyday, also not drawing...)

End of report!

Somehow, I feel that the sims got our character... like Tong Yee Dai - Lou is always caught using the computer even when I never set that action. Zemin Dai - Lou is always eating. Kirstie Dai - Lou always watching tv or using computer. And of course, Germaine Dai - Lou is always sleeping -.-

I set the SIMS's Will as high, so they can do things based on what they wish to, so it is interesting to see some similar traits...

Disclaimer: All this are being played in THE SIMS 3 game.

Update!!!

The new Dai - Lou family has already moved into the house. BUT because of the system setting (cannot have more than 8 Sims in one house), I have to split the household into two different household (two different house).

Now Kirstie Dai - Lou & Germaine Dai - Lou is living together in one house (Lets name it House A). Zemin Dai - Lou & Tong Yee Dai - Lou is living together(House B). Super difficult to play cause need to keep changing the active house but I spent more time on the House A because the household has babies. The main reason why Germaine Dai - Lou and Kirstie Dai - Lou live together is also because all the sims in the household can tolerate kids but Zemin Dai - Lou & Tong Yee Dai - Lou (Together with Lee Hyuk Jae) have the traits of disliking children.

So currently only House A has more updates so the photos below are mainly all House A's Daily Lives...